最搞笑的英语小笑话大全

(资料图)

　　笑话有时是本无其事的虚构，甚至夸大到荒诞的地步。

　　最搞笑的英语小笑话大全

　　(一)

　　Wife"s Begging

　　妻子的祈求

　　Two men were talking at the break-room. One was telling the other about a fight he had had with his wife. "In the end"he said, "I had her begging on her knees."

　　两位男士正在休息室淡论着。一位对另一位说起他与妻子的一场争斗。他说：“最后，我迫使她跪下来求我。”

　　"What did she say?" asked the coworker.

　　“她怎么求你的?”另一位很好奇。

　　"She told me to come out from under the bed."

　　“她求我快点从床下爬出来。”

　　(二)

　　Reasons

　　理由

　　One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

　　一天清晨，妈妈去叫还在睡觉的儿子起床。

　　Mom: Wake up, son. It"s time to go to school.

　　妈妈:起来，儿子。去学校的时间到了。

　　Son: But why? I don"t want to go to school.

　　儿子:但是为什么?我不想去学校。

　　Mom: Give me two reasons why you don"t want to go to school.

　　妈妈:给我两个理由，你为什么不想去学校。

　　Son: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.

　　儿子:第一，所有的孩子都恨我。第二，所有的老师都恨我。

　　Mom: Oh! That"s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.

　　妈妈:哦!这不是理由。来吧，你必须去学校。

　　Son: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?

　　儿子:那给我两个为什么我要去学校的理由?

　　Mom:One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

　　妈妈:第一，你都52岁了，应该明白自己的责任。第二，你是学校的校长。

　　最搞笑的英语小笑话欣赏

　　(一)

　　A Gentle Reminder

　　委婉的提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we"ve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　结婚很久了，丈夫现在有时需要我委婉地提醒他一些特别的日子。在结婚35周年纪念日的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示他说:“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我:“那么，你想交换座泣，是吗?”

　　(二)

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　三位男子在公园的长椅土坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。

　　"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends”

　　“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友”

　　"In that case," warned the officer, "you"d better get them out of here!"

　　“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”

　　"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　“好的，瞥官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂地做起划桨的动作来。

　　经典的最搞笑的英语小笑话

　　Where Have You Been?

　　你去哪儿了?

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck. After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child"?" One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don"t you know he is on your neck?" Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"

　　古时候，有个人总是忘事。一天，他带着小儿子出门。一高兴，便让儿子骑在自己的脖子上。过了一会儿，他忽然想起儿子来，逢人便问间:“你看到我的孩子了吗?”有个同村的村民见了大笑，说:“你难道不知道他在你脖子上吗?”一听这话，这人一把将儿子一从脖子上揪下来，气愤至极，狠狠地打了孩子，嚷道:“我叫你别乱跑，刚才你到哪里去了?”